False Alarm

Last Sunday´s ¨El Comercio¨ featured an interview with a local writer named Fernando Ampuero. He seemed a likeable fellow.
This morning, on impulse I walked into a bookstore and bought his latest work, along with another which caught my attention.

His latest, ¨Hasta que me orinen los perros¨ (Until the dogs urinate on me), is about a guy who loses his corporate job, and drives a taxi to make ends meet. Ultimatedly burnt out, he moonlights by taking drunk passengers to a place where they are relieved of their money.

His previous book written in ´06 is titled: ¨Mi Puta Linda¨ (My Lovely Whore).The contents of such are pretty obvious. I started reading this book about 10:30 am in a café in a hip part of town in Lima named Miraflores…where you are overcharged by the square foot to posit your derriere.

Perturbed by the traffic noise, I walked down the steps to the beach, where I found a cute little park right in front of the pacific ocean. I lay under the shade of a palm tree to read.

A good book will provoke its reader. Whether in a positive or negative form, is not the point. Two-thirds into the book, I had been several times extremely provoked, you might say. Like water in a pot to boil an egg, this situation had reached the boiling point, and was starting to evaporate.

All was needed was for me to squeeze my thighs…that´s all. Yet, since there was police patrolling the area to keep this zone super safe, I ran the risk of incuring a fine. Alter all, one may attempt to be as silent as a tomb, yet the body cannot control the spasms and tremors which ripple from head to toes.

Imagine what this ticket would say? ¨Fined for orgasming on a public park!¨ This would have been mortifying to say the least. I might have disputed this fine in court by arguing that it was merely an epileptic spasm. Yet, without a medical chart to support this claim, I would have been further ridiculed on the spot.

So, I did the next best thing. I went into the women´s bathroom in the park and ….used its facility. A strange thing occured though.



To be continued…..