Pedro’s stomach revolted and expelled all contents on site. He folded over as his veins pronounced with the effort to empty all vestige of the offensive tamal inside.
-“That bitch! My friend, if you had known my wife – may she rest in peace - you would have more consideration for my plight. Her voice, after a while was incessantly disturbing. Like long fingernails scratching a blackboard, or the deliberate torture of a perennial leaking faucet disrupting the tenuous hold on sanity.
Drop by single drop, until it escalates to a colossal sibilant until one day, something snapped! Yes! That’s it! I think that I will plead to temporary insanity. It wasn’t me! I did not premeditate to kill her. It was as if a demon has possessed me temporarily, and he obliterated any vestige of a conscience in my psych.
The night that it happened; I sneaked behind when she was sitting on the lazy boy chair watching “Dancing with the Stars.” I remember that the volume of the television was way too high. I asked her repeatedly to please turn it down, and she refused to do so. I think….now that I think about it; she was on a campaign to drive me crazy!
Yes, when she flapped her mouth she emitted spit all around. She had really bad hygiene and fungus in the toenails. Oh, by the way, I amputated her offensive feet. Those were never used for the tamal fill.
She would spend my hard earned money on stupid, and frivolous things. Like that exercise contraption to reduce stomach flab.
What a hypocrite!
That machine just collected dust. That was its only function!
Then she blamed her weight gain in suppressing her libido. What good is a woman for, if she won’t put out? Do you see how she liked to torture me? I had to masturbate more often, than when I was single, and getting more pussy then. Or if I did get some, it was like doing a cadaver, as she spread open her flabby thighs, and that my friend, was the extent of her beneficence to the sexual act.
She refused to go down on me, claiming that her new religion forbade that defilement of her body.
Shaking his head sideways, Rene continued with his narrative. – “So anyways, I took a metal hanger from the closet, and then I unraveled it. I quietly snuck behind her lazy boy chair, and very quickly, I twisted the hanger around her neck, and I used all my strength to tighten the metallic noose.
She floundered like a fish out of water, and her eyes seemed to pop out of her skull. Slowly but surely, her release on my arms, and life announced her departure. She is now where she always wanted to be – in heaven. For all that she was trying to drive me insane, she was a good woman.
Afterwards, I did not know what to do with the body. So, I chopped her into pieces. And I noticed that the flesh, underneath the thick layer of fat and nerves, was not much different in appearance than others'.
Since the gas prices had escalated to almost forty-seven pesos per gallon, the price for meat, corn and food had escalated in turn. So I decided to do the logical thing. I decided then to use her meat for the tamales.
So I created a taste test by mincing her liver, and a portion of her right thigh. I seasoned the meat with a lot of species and marinated it for a bit with a few drops of white vinegar. I stir fried the minced liver with lots of onions and a bit of green chili. The aroma permeating the kitchen was tempting and alluring.
At first, I hesitated to eat it, and then I closed my eyes and placed the delicious smelling meat inside my mouth. It tasted very good. And I felt I did her good by sending her to heaven. She had trouble sleeping, and worried too much about the economy. I think it was better this way, and as a side note, my tamal business boomed!
-“So what did you do when you ran out of her meat and what did you tell her family?” Pedro asked standing with arms akimbo in the interrogation room.
-“Well, I knew that she was going to leave me eventually. I knew it, so I told them that she had left me for a younger man, and gone north to the United States. As to the meats you ate and found in the refrigerators….well…”
To be continued…
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