Move to another aisle

One should not go grocery shopping when hungry; obviously one may tend to buy unnecessary stuff. Perhaps the security guard may surreptitiously follow suit if one eats the mini carrots directly from the bag. I had not had dinner yet – so what? To make it worth his while, I grabbed a yogurt-based peach drink; and I took several sips before setting it on the market cart.

It’s worth mentioning here the man I saw in line at the cash register. Our eyes locked for a moment, with certain intensity on his part, while an expression of recognition illuminated my face. He looked exactly liked the hit man in the movie “Amores Perros.” I’m not kidding, they could have been twins. He had the wild Karl Marx hair, beard, same disturbingly penetrating gaze; he was in character - down to the checkered wool blazer.

Note to self: Don’t go grocery shopping in micro gym shorts.

Speaking of the gym, this evening I finished my routine earlier than usual. I was almost done, yet still had to hit the leg extension machine. I waited in front of mentioned apparatus for a girl to finish her set. She offered to take turns; I smiled and thanked her. I was amazed that for such a slight frame, she was lifting 90 lbs., and mentioned this to her. I struggle to lift 37 lbs to 50 lbs maximum with the leg extension. She laughed and mentioned something - which I don’t recall.
My internal bell was ringing, and making me uncomfortable. I left after only two sets. By her demeanor, lack of make up, and just her strength alone, I could sense something which disturbed me.

I can’t describe it; there is a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ which signals on a primal level, when there is a certain level of attraction. I am not homophobic, and don’t need to prove that I am strictly heterosexual. However, when one is heartbroken, one may easily be vulnerable to exterior forces. Be those casual flings, drink, drugs, chocolate etc. One have better steer clear when the internal bells ring. One could risk becoming a beggar for affection to numb the pain. Exchanging body for a lie; a pause from the aching loneliness one may fall prey to, if not consciously centered.

Perhaps I should have walked up to Karl Marx and engaged him in conversation.