While waiting for the snail paced line at the register of the super market to move along, I read my horoscope. It said something to the effect that my social life would be very active, yet I must be aware, for it is highly probable that in the bunch of people, I will meet: “the one that will walk with you the rest of your life.”
It’s hard to maneuver the car in pouring rain at night, since visibility is highly impaired. How to tell who will it be? Really - how? I feel like I am in the London train station, and an avalanche of people emerge from the arriving trains. All of them walk towards my direction. This I find unnerving, and frustrating. During my reverie a song intruded in my mind: "Magic Man" by Heart.
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"cold late nights so long ago, when I was not so strong u know, dream man came to me...I could not run away it seemed, we'd seen each other in a dream, seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me..."come on home girl" he said with a smile, "you don't have to love me......but try to understand...try..try...try..to understand... I'm a magic man"......he got magic hands."
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I have seen him with my peripheral vision. I always judge a man by this parameter. If I was lost in total darkness, in a dark tunnel and I could perceive a lamp post at the end, the light interrupted by the shadowed form of a man… I would run to him take his hand, and feel instantly safe and protected, be it in a seedy dark alley, or in hell itself. I have seen this shadow yet, I cannot put a face on it. Have cut and pasted faces from my past, yet, who will it be next?
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A magic man would surely see through my firewall. Through the caustic bitchy shell, to see the real me. The real me who longs to meet a man stronger than her; yet occasionally a frightened little girl who also dwells in there too. A magic man who would be able to almost hypnotize me, dominate me (to the point I'd let him…ha!), he would hypnotize me to drop my inhibitions, as well as my panties.
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He would only need to extend his hand, with the mutual understanding that once I took hold of his hand, I would fuse mind, body, and soul with him. We would not need a heater in the winter...the body heat we would generate together, would be enough to steam the windows. Is it an improbable fantasy? Perhaps. I don't drink lukewarm coffee, and prefer to drive to bakery to get one single fresh baked bollilo. If I cannot have it the way I want it...rather pass it.
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How else to wearily trudge through the drudgery of life if not for the illusion of finding that which will elevates us to the sublime? Beyond our egos to love deeply, unconditionally, desperately, to the point of border-like adoration? I think he would be smart, intuitive, gentle yet strong. Meantime, I will indulge in fresh baked bread and hot coffee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wa0alIWRiQ
