Irony

About 9:30 pm, I was seated in my car slurping the contents of my soft drink cup, when I see her walking in front of me.

She moved at a labored pace, as if she carried the weight of the world. The gaunt look she wore was further evidence that she was tired.

She was almost beyond my range of view when I turned on the ignition, and drove out to catch up to where she was sauntering at her leisure.

-“Are you going far? Do you need a ride?” I asked her in Spanish as I drove along her side.

-“No, just about 12 blocks.” She said as she eyed me with curiosity and distrust.

-“Get in! I’ll take you there. I’m alone here; I won’t do you any harm.” I said as I offered her a little smile.

-“But you don’t even know me. Okay.” She got in weighing her options of a long walk on a chilly night.

The light-knitted sweater only covered her arms; the bulk of her protruding stomach overstretched her t-shirt to the limit.

-“Just coming from work?” I inquired to break up the silence.

-“Yes, I work at Carl’s Jr. in Glendale.”

-“Wow! Long way from where you live.

You should wear a jacket at this time of night to avoid catching a cold.” I said when I heard her sniffle after she had given me directions as to where to take her.

-“I know, but when I left this afternoon it was so hot.” She said.

-“Yes, but it’s better to be cautious than to incur complications. Your baby doesn’t need medicines in your system if you can avoid it. Try to carry a jacket with you next time.”

-“Thanks! Goodnight.” She said as she struggled to haul her body out of the car.

While driving home, it occurred to me that she was right to have been overtly cautious. One hears on the news horror stories about crazy women stealing babies from the womb of the mother. She must be about seven to eight months along.



This reminded me of something that almost happened several years ago. My dear friend from Peru, whom I correspond with via instant messaging, shared with me his dilemma.

Ricky had recently met a girl whom he really liked, and after several weeks of going out together, she had confessed to being almost three months pregnant.

-“Wow! So, where do you stand?” I inquired with mild curiosity.

-“She says she has to get rid of it. She already has one kid, and can’t afford this one. She wants me to help her with money for the procedure.” He answered.

-“You know Ricky, that is a life on the balance. You should think real hard about that.
Do you see any chance of a future with her? Do you think that you could carry the load of an instant family?”

-“I’ve barely met her. I can’t say. Anyway, she has decided to do it. She doesn’t want it, and she can’t wait much longer to do it.” He said washing his hands.

A cocktail of emotions blended in flavors of rage, shock, and grief. Without thinking it through I blurted out:

-“Ricky, if she really doesn’t want it because she can’t afford a kid, tell her this for me please. Tell her that she should have the baby, and give it away rather then kill it. I will take it, and raise it, rather than knowing that she is going to kill that baby!
I'll help her out too - but just during her pregnancy.

Promise me that you will speak with her tonight, and come online tomorrow and tell me what she decides!” I urged.

The man I was seeing at the time reacted with incredulity.
He asked me if I knew all the red tape and cost one had to go through to adopt a baby, and it being foreign, one had to deal with visas on top of that. I said that I did not know with certainty, but that I intended to find out.

That evening while browsing the immigration web site, the seed of a back up plan was germinating.

If it came to a lot of bureaucratic bullshit and cost incurred, how feasible would it be to fake a pregnancy?

I had limited resources, and although it was unorthodox to attempt something like that, the end justified the means - so I thought at that time.

The more I thought about it, the more viable the back up plan seemed to become.
If it were that it would take months for the visas and paperwork to come to fruition, those would be critical months in the development of the baby that we would have to be separated.

I did not think that I could leave it in care of the natural mother. Not because she had said that she did not want it, but rather because it would be cruel for her to bond with the baby only to have to part with him or her later on.
Besides, she would probably become very attached to the dollars wired to her name every month. It just spelled more trouble than dealing with the problem head on.

Surely one grand would be enough to elicit the cooperation of a doctor in a rural, provincial clinic back there. And after all, there would be no money exchange at all, as it would technically be mine when bequeathed to me.

I decided to rest my weary head, until I found out what that girl had decided to do.

The next morning I logged onto my instant messaging at work, and waited impatiently for Ricky to log on.

About noon time, I saw his icon light up.

-“So? What did she say?” I asked with a knot in my stomach. After all this could be a life altering experience for me.

-“We talked it over, and she had decided to keep it after all. I am going to stay with her and help her out.”

Breathing a deep sigh of relief, I was pleased, yet, I also felt a bit crestfallen.
My mind had gone into overdrive while conjuring a myriad of scenarios and changes that would upheave my life irrevocably.

Yet, I knew this was the best possible outcome, and I was glad I had not omitted from prodding Ricky the day before that to be a man, meant to take on responsibilities, and that a father was not just one that ejaculated sperm, but also the one that raised the kid.

I had also reminded him on how much he used to bemoan that it was so hard to find someone to love.



The last time that I saw Ricky was in May 2008. He was in “heaven and hell.” He had moved on to another relationship, and was married two years now.

-“Why are you in heaven and hell?” I asked.

-“I love her very much, but she is always unhappy and harping that I don’t give her the lifestyle she wants. I can’t afford to now, I am struggling to make ends meet and make a success of my ventures.

I risk my life every time I go to the jungle to supervise my crops. Those are my investments, and you know that exports are up, particularly those to China and Japan.”

-“Yeah, I heard that to travel some roads is too dangerous due to resurrected activity of the Shining Path rebels. I’ve heard they hijack bus loads of people and those passengers are left naked, even without shoes.

But Ricky, you know you can’t buy love, she has to understand that.” I answered while I hoped that at least she was a great lay for all that trouble.

-“Also, we still can’t get pregnant; It seems that she is sterile after all the tests we’ve both taken.

I still see the kids though; they love me like their dad.” Ricky said with a sweet smile laced with irony.




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