Velvet

-‘The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire.’ I heard someone once say.

It simply means that pain is a right of passage, to help one grow and mold you, and to help you find out who you really are – and the stuff you’re made of.

It’s okay to be sad for a while, but then you’ve got to snap out of it girl!” Carmen counseled energetically.

Beatriz wipes her eyes and blows her nose, closing the flow of tap water running down her cheekbones and irrigating her blouse.

-“Perhaps you’re right Carmen, but I still feel like shit. This is not me; I am not weak. Except where I am most vulnerable I guess.

I do feel myself transforming though. I feel as if I’m hardening and like….I feel like almost using men now. Does that make sense?” Beatriz inquires her eyes puffy as olives.

-“Ultimately, we all need each other – that’s the nature of things.

Of course there are women who will use men to make their life easier – some men being very easy to manipulate. Yet, you must find out which type of woman you really are.

Will you be okay with yourself afterwards? Or will repressing your loving nature lead to emptiness and self-loathing? Speaking of repression, have you sought a replacement?” Carmen suggested.

Galvanized into action by excessive energy, Beatriz jumps off the chair and starts pacing the room.

-“You have no idea Carmen. It is so difficult! It’s all in the voice and personality you see. I…I have not found someone with the same tone of voice, and personality, that I now know, that I will respond to.
It's like my psych is hardwired for that. Sadly, to the detriment of my will, pride, and all sense of propiety.

The one that makes me melt like butter on a sizzling summer day, and slow drip like a melting ice cream cone.

-“Girl, I think that it’s time that you get some sort of battery operated toy.” Carmen joked.

Raucous laughter is emitted.-“How can you tell that I’m practically going insane?

I really am!

Like I have this notion to buy shinny red pumps and wear those with a willowy skirt that flirts with the wind, and reaches just above my knees. Underneath I would wear nothing else, except that I’d be velvety smooth.”

-“Now, that is crazy! I don’t see why some women like to mess with nature and shave and wax. That is there for a reason. And besides, it’s too frigging cold right now!” Carmen protested.

-“Oh no, I like it. I like to touch it when it’s velvety smooth, and I even slather green apple scented lotion on it too.

But what is truly disturbing to his notion that I have is… that I’d like to let a large dog sniff and nuzzle my crotch. And even let it use its wet pink tongue – underneath my willowy skirt.

Dogs are mans’ best friend after all, and it’s a fact they’re more faithful then men."


-“Oh no girl! Before animal protection services process you, you’d better go buy one of them plastic, battery operated members. Those offer guaranteed satisfaction without messing with no dogs! Carmen said truly appalled.

Laughing heartedly again, Beatriz says, “I was just messing with you that I’d actually do it you know. Although not that I’m really fantasizing about it.

Anyways, thanks but no toys for me. I dislike big things stuffed inside – those hurt more than promote pleasure. Besides, no battery operated toy would ever replace the scent, taste and feel of a real man. Or replace his magical hands and tongue.

You know, I think that I will look for the right candidate for there is a saying that one nail pushes out another nail.

I need to push out the nail cleaving my heart.” The leaking faucet runs again.

-“Girl you stop that crying right now. Do you know in Haiti where I’m from there are witch doctors to cure all? You can bring him back you know. Make him unable to stop thinking about you, even subconsciously in his sleep.

It works too, why my aunt was beaten almost daily by my uncle when they were newly married. He was a mean son of a bitch with her. Suddenly one day, he was as docile as a lamb, and catered to her every whim. Of course now he suffers chronically from stomach problems.

I know some powerful people near Mc Arthur Park if you’re interested.” Carmen said with a wink of an eye.



To be continued…