Just Coffee

He pretended to be working avidly at his laptop, while straining to hear the full conversation behind him, at the table where the four women had gathered to drink their lattes after a flurry of kisses and hugs upon greeting.

- “So, who goes first?”
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- “I will! I have to share that I’m becoming a nun!”
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- “Do nuns masturbate? Hey stop messing around, you’re an atheist!”
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- “OK, would only last like two weeks – at the latest without orgasms, but without men? Holy cow, men are nuts! Some guy I've never met simply went berserk! Like I have a license to disperse therapy to this lunatic? At least, I didn’t shave my bush to meet him!”

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- “Come on Cindy, you could have any guy you wanted, look at you, you are driven, cute, funny, and you could have any man…while I’m bored to tears. It’s like he is pumping for oil, and I am looking at the ceiling wondering what I will wear the next day. I just wish he would get over with it ASAP. Guess I have too many things on my plate, or we have just lost the spark.”

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- “Sure Carol, I could have any horn dog; guys my age want girls barely legal age. Oh, Oh! Reminds me of a joke. This 58 yr old man leaves his wife. On a note he wrote, I am leaving you for my 18 yr old assistant. Just happens the wife wrote back to him saying: I am leaving You! for my personal trainer, he is 18 yrs old, and Darling, since you are such a brilliant man, do the math. You know that 58 going into 18 are not as many times as 18 going on forever.” (giggles).
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- “I have to agree with you Cindy, men are psycho! I have this man e-mailing me constantly abusive e-mails. HATEFUL! Is it my fault he hates all women, starting with his mother? Girls, NEVER take a man to your place! It could turn into “Fatal Attraction!”
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- “Oh come on you guys, don’t be SO negative! I have a crush on someone…haven’t even met him! But he is SO cute, and funny, and …I think if we met, the chemistry might disappear.”

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- “Listen honey, once he turns psycho on you, you can bet your ass it will. Or a new combustive chemistry may cause an explosion.”

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- “Well, look at us! If we keep bashing men, what is the alternative? Dating 18 year olds? Become sugar mommas? Just on the fast food gig they work at, least we can look forward to free tacos at Taco Bell. Well, that an LOTS of sex!” (Giggles).

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- “Listen Becky; take off your rose colored glasses. This psycho man, once I told him he needed anger management, later sent me an I’m sorry e-mail. Whatever, I know what he wanted. To play the nice guy for a bit, then get me alone in his apartment, give me some shit, and do me up the ass. I am telling you, once a psycho, always a psycho. I think in the not so distant future, people should have a mini resume, with health status, REAL age, MARITAL status, and of course, income bracket!”
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- " Cindy, you think because you open your legs, men have to kiss you ass? I mean figuratively speaking…you can suck them dry?…again figuratively speaking…of their resources? You are such a self-centered bitch!”
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- “Are you premenstrual? Don’t even get me started!”

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- “Cindy, don’t You use that tone with me, I know all your dirty laundry Hun, don’t even get ME started! For all your self-righteousness I know you are calculating to the core, and that you will stop at nothing to further your cause.”
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- “Don’t be so melodramatic Becky, I choose to set the rules to the game, which is quite different, and if I get something out of it, so what? I empower myself in the process, in the end I look out for No. 1…moi! Why give it away for the illusion of a good time?”
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- “If that is how you want to rationalize it. Yet, you are merely trading your goodies for fancy gifts, and trips, and fancy meals. What do you have to show for it, if not for the illusion of living beyond your means?”
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- “Girls! Stop it! I can’t believe you two!” – chimed in Carroll. “Just last Sunday I read on Newsweek on the nascent of the Feminist movement. Did you know it simply started on a lark by a small group of women to protest The Miss America Pageant in 1968? Do you see how far we’ve come since then, for this conversation to even take place? It’s unconceivable! Look around you, women can’t further their cause by sleeping their way to the top anymore, that is not what women have fought arduously against the status quo for so long!”
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- “I second that!” – said Luisa. “We can’t afford to fall backwards in the process thus far. Not likely I’m going to get a discount for gas, at the gas station by simply flashing my cleavage. Women need to earn as much as men, since we are self-supporting. And you know who’s getting my vote next year.”

(Hi-Fives)

- "Sorry girls" – said Carol. "I am sitting on the fence on that one. I can’t vote for someone just because of gender, I need to be convinced it is the best possible choice."
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- “Carol Hun, you are looking at History in the making!" – said Luisa. "Do you have idea of the full impact of this decision? It is the pinnacle of breaking the proverbial glass ceiling of the highest office in the Western Hemisphere, of the most powerful nation in the world! Think what this will do to motive women, little girls, those young women thinking of skipping college to work for Wal-Mart and making babies and falling into the entrapment of the Welfare system!”
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- “Luisa, I do get this would be a historic event, but I have to arrive to my decision rationally, not based on romantic notions.”
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- “Carol, you want rational? How about you compare the current situation, the weakened dollar, war, and really too many other factors to mention, with a decade ago, to the late 90’s; this is our chance to get Bill back! Throw that concept in your mental stew.”
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- “Oh stop getting so passionate about it Luisa. Get laid or something – speaking of which…if you want to get laid why don’t you join us in a ménage a trois? Larry has been pestering me about “spicing up our sex life.” I love you guys; I would only share him with my best friends. Besides, I only have the inclination at the end of the day, to sit on his face. You can ride him, what do you say?”
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- “Sorry Carol, I like Larry, but not that much. Besides I really love you like a sister, and imagining slurping your kitty, it’s just… incestuous! I’m sure that smashing cunts together to create friction, while we attempt to lick his lollipop simultaneously, would be a great little work out. I think your best alternative is to go to the central market in Downtown Los Angeles - the one on Broadway and 3rd - and get some Maca. It is a natural food supplement from Peru. It’s like Viagra for women, and then fuck your hubby proper, and with gusto!”
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He tried to avoid getting perturbed by the eavesdropping, yet he felt the stirrings of an erection, and his breathing became irregular. He took off his jacket to place it over his lap.
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- “Well! Anyone else interested in the ménage trois? I need to delegate my duties.”
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- “Sorry Carol, I intend to find loving tender romance, even if I have to light candles to St. Anthony. Sharing a taken man is not my idea of that, not like there are shortages of eligible men. Besides, I think marriages should come with a five year termination clause. This to keep people on their toes, and not take their partner for granted.”
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- “Sane men you might consider, of those there is scarcity.” – said Cindy.
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- “It’s the dynamics of economics, that of supply and demand” – said Carol. “You might just have to move to Alaska or Australia to find more demand for women, therefore more leverage.”
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Turning around, Cindy gathered all the women in a small circle to whisper something inaudible to his ears, then an eruption of collective laughter ensued.

They got up from the table to clear the cups, and napkins, and proceeded to leave.
As they were leaving, a balled napkin with a telephone number landed on his keyboard.